Saturday, October 3, 2009

Happy Birthday, Brody!

Brody,

Has it really already been a year? I'm not sure that I can believe it is here, even though I have known it was coming! I think back to a year ago today and my heart almost burst with JOY. I think about walking into that hospital with your daddy and knowing we would never walk out the same again. We would no longer be a couple, but instead a family.

I remember so vividly the second you were born. I remember the look in your daddy's eyes when we looked at each other and knew at that very moment our lives had changed. I heard them say, "Boy! Lots of dark hair. BIG hands and BIG feet!" I still, a year later, can not describe the emotions that came over me at that moment. I couldn't even if I tried and until you are a parent, you will never understand the way I love you and how that moment felt.

I laugh when I think about our first night at home. I still can't believe that just let us leave with you! Haha! The first night was hard. And so was the second night. And the night after that and the night after that and then still two weeks after that. It was hard. We were so exhausted, but that's not what I think about when I think about those first few weeks. I think about your first bath. The way you loved to sleep in your swing. The times your daddy and you would spend together early in the mornings so I could sleep. The way you were so observant and so quiet. Those are the things I think about.

I can't help but think about the milestones you hit this year. Each one was so exciting. I don't ever want to forget how it felt to want you to smile at me and how it felt when you finally did. Now you smile at me 100 times a day, but each time it's just as special, because it's YOU. I always love to watch you as you try to learn and do new things. I have learned so much about you while watching. I know that you are very cautious. You don't like to try things unless you know you can do them. You are very sensitive and it hurts your feelings when you don't do things they way you want to do them. You are also very determined. You will do whatever it takes to get things done. Nothing gets in your way. You are so creative. You make up little games and then remember them and play them often. You are very loving. I get countless kisses a day. You grab my hair and pull my face right up to your face and kiss me. You are very energetic. You constantly move...even when you sleep. You are shy. You lack patience. You are independent. I love that you have taught me about yourself this year.

Did you know that you have also taught me so much this year? I learned about love. I learned what is really important and what isn't and I learned if it isn't...it can wait. I learned to appreciate the little things, like a shower and alone time!! I learned that I do not have superpowers and despite wanting to do and be everything, I cannot, so I chose daily to just be a wife and a mom. I learned that God's plan is so much better than our plan. You, my sweet boy, are living proof of that truth. I learned that Gigi and Big Daddy weren't nearly as dumb as they once appeared to be and actually might have some knowledge. I usually ask them for it on a daily basis now. I learned that I can constantly worry about you and it will not change one thing, except my relationship with Christ which it ends up hurting, so I have tried to daily give you to God and know that He has and always will have you safe in His hands. I have also learned that I require sleep. I used to claim I did not. I lied. I learned that every single minute of the day is a gift. Nothing thrills me more then to wake up every morning with my two amazing boys. I know that each morning I have been given a gift! I learned that I have been blessed far beyond what I could have ever, ever imagined. God truly is so good!

I am thankful for so many things from this year and if I were to name them all, this would be the longest letter ever (and it is getting long enough) so I will tell you what I am honestly most thankful for this year. I am thankful for the opportunity to pray for you daily. I am thankful that every morning and every evening you daddy and I pray for you together. My favorite time of the day is when we sneak back into your room after you are asleep and pray over you. We have to whisper so we don't wake you, but God hears us so clearly. I think about the things we have prayed for you this year. Things so trivial like sleep, eating and diapers, but they are not trivial to God. And then I think of the "big things" we have prayed for, like your salvation, your future, and your future spouse. I think about the things we ask God to give you: the heart that seeks Him first, a hatred for sin, a love for His word, and the character of Christ. There are so many more things. I often cry and get overwhelmed when I pray for you. I get overwhelmed with responsibility of it and overwhelmed by the desire to see you grow into a man of God. I tell your dad so often that I just want us to grow a Godly man. I don't care if you amount to little according to the world's standards, but I want you to amount to greatness when it involves Christ. I pray daily that you will not be blinded by our mistakes, our sins and our failures. I pray God gives you eyes to see past that and look in our hearts. I pray you see Christ. I want nothing more than for you to see Him in us.

Today, I am so thankful for a year with you!! I thought I would cry when today came, but I am so happy and so grateful that I'm not the least bit sad. I love that we are not just celebrating your first birthday today, but that we are celebrating one year as parents and a family. I love where God has brought us 3 and look forward to where he will take us this next year. I pray God gives us many more wonderful memories together this year. Know that we love you like you will never know, but also know that God loves you like we never will.

Happy Birthday precious son!
I love you!

27 comments:

Rennae said...

Beautiful.

Amy said...

Oh my word! I was reading while nursing my little one early this morning and I think she got a little frustrated, because I was DRENCHING her with tears! This is beautiful. What a loving letter to your sweet Brody....I could relate to so many things. Thank you for sharing - this is truly a letter of love - how blessed he is to have you as his mommy!

Amanda and Franklin said...

I couldn't have said it better! I feel the exact same way this morning. Do you mind if I just cut and paste this on my blog? Hahaha I just wanted to wish Brody a happy birthday today from his birthday buddy, David Franklin!!! Have a wonderful day!

Amanda said...

Happy Birthday Brody!!! Have fun finally getting to eat a piece of cake!!!! :-)

Mandi said...

Sweet words from a sweet momma. Happy Birthday, Brody!!!

Mary Kate said...

what a sweet letter to the joy of your life!! happy birthday brody boy!!

Todd and Courtney said...

happy birthday Brody!!!! Enjoy your Ricks cake!

audrey said...

What a beautiful letter. I love that you sneak back into his room to pray over him. He is very lucky to have parents like you!

Haley said...

Happy Birthday Brody! I don't know if it is pregnancy hormones but I just cried my eyes our reading this. Can't wait to experience all those wonderful feelings. Congrats to y'all on such a precious baby boy :)

Lindsey said...

You and Josh are such good parents. :)You guys have fun today!

Happy Birthday Brody!!!

Erin said...

Amazing. I hope he has a fantastic Birthday!!

Happy Happy Birthday Brody!

lukeandlaurawoodard said...

That was the sweetest letter. I am crying like a baby now. You inspire me so much! I hope that Brody has an awesome first birthday!! He is precious!

Kristi said...

What a beautiful letter to your precious 1 year old. I have just cried my eyes out, not because of sadness but because that was sweet. You have to print it out and put it in his baby book so he can look back at it one day. It really got me thinking back to my past 16 months as well. Man, time flies by when you have a little one to love and raise. Have a great time with his party today, and I can't wait to see pictures.

Happy Birthday Brody!

Jetta said...

Jennither-
I'm so glad you have this blog and I get to keep up with whats going on in your life! You just made me cry like a little baby. You are such a wonderful mom and I can't believe baby Brody is 1! Have a good day today love.
Jada

Lilly, Matt, and Sara said...

I can totally relate-I felt and still feel those same emotions for Lilly daily. You articulated them so perfectly. You are blessed to have Brody and he is blessed to have you.

Happy Birthday Brody!! I can't believe it has been a whole year!

His Doorkeeper said...

That was so sweet and so heartfelt...only a Mama can know how that feels! Happy Birthday to Brody! Been keeiping up with him this past year and my, has the year flown!!

Ya'll are a precious family! God bless Brody as he grows up to be a wonderful young man!

Emily said...

Happy Birthday Brody!

That was the sweetest letter I have ever read.

Amy said...

So beautiful, just like your sweet family. Happy Birthday, Brody!

Thank you for sharing him and yourself with us. :)

Laura Ann said...

Happy Birthday Brody. I can hardly believe that he is already a year old. Wow ~ time has flown. I remember reading the day he was born. Time goes by so quickly.

I can't wait to see pictures of the party...I know it was perfect.

Can you PLEASE just mail me a piece of cake from Rick's. ( ha ha)

Caroline said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRODY!!!!!

this post made me cry...I love your payers over him. love love love them! you are such a sweet mom!

Jenna said...

Jennifer, this is the most precious thing! Well, the most precious next the big birthday boy himself! I hope ya'll had a wonderful day yesterday celebrating - what an awesome year!!! I am so blessed to know ya'll and get to watch God work through ya'll's family and your love for one another. It is priceless. God is SO good!

Happy Birtday Brody!

Heather said...

I love this, Jennifer. Such wonderful words and emotions. God is so good to us. Happy birthday to Brody!

Terri said...

Jennifer - thanks for sharing that letter! It not only brought tears to my eyes, but warmed my heart thinking of all the things I have to look forward to during Knox's first year!

Ashley said...

Oh my goodness, I am balling! So precious girl. You are just giving me chills thinking about what s ahead with Miss Avery next June. Such a special letter... and such a special day. I saw pics on Julee's page. Which by the way you have ONE AMAZING girlfriend in that girl. You can tell she loves you to death! ;)

Looking forward to meeting this cutie!

LYNDEE said...

awwwe jennifer that was awesome, and of course by the second paragraph i was sobbing, bc it is so true.... all of it!! God is so wonderful, isnt he??? the blessing of a child is the one of the greatest gifts he could give us!!!!! happy bday brody!!!

sarah @ life {sweet} life said...

What a sweet, sweet post! Hope his birthday was a great day. :)

Juls said...

Beautiful and so heartfelt!! We cant wait to see pictures :)